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Alternate Universe: Readers Respond

Stanford Torus by Don Davis, for NASA/Stanford University project. Public domain. Click to view full size.

Pinky Meadow

In my alternate universe, the only thing different is me (solipsist much?). In this universe, I walk around and feel like I exist, and I exist because other people exist, and even if we’re just carbon and water that can never truly connect, we’re here, whatever that means.

I have another alternate universe, though I don’t call it that. It’s better described as my very special place, a cross between Lisa Frank and hell. Here are the unsubtle changes:

Private ownership of cars is banned. While over in America this lead to extortionism of the public by the smart ancestors of nascent dilettantes [and on my dime!––ed.], here in good old socialist Estonia, taxes pay most of the rental charge. This leads not only to massive improvements in cross-country travel and energy efficiency, it also leads to a reawakening of community spirit and resource sharing. And happy hippie sex. In theory.

All pregnancies must be preapproved and licensed by the state. To qualify for conception, prospective parents have to undergo rigorous testing by the state to evaluate their parental fitness, modeled after the evaluation process for adoptive parents. Failures of the system could go through a private adoption service or appeal.

Oh yes, you say, but accidents happen. You’re quite perceptive, aren’t you? Surely you wouldn’t just––kill the fetus! Well, no, you can’t kill something that isn’t alive. But let me answer the query behind your question. A parent has no right to her unlicensed child, but the mother can still carry it to term on the condition that she relinquishes all claim to it upon its birth––and face conviction. For those who wish to remain on the right side of the law, confidential abortions could be performed without any questions asked &mdash or documents seized––or fees payed. You don’t want a child raised by two felons, right?

-Democratic Death Derby. Every year, every country picks one of their citizens to die by popular vote. The winner can be anyone, though someone with the wealthiest enemies is likely to win. This person dies in the grisliest fashion possible, on live television and webcast, in a large arena. Ticket revenue (including those in the “splash zone”) goes to some feel-good cause (education or healthcare, for example). Bonus points for rigged deaths which cause citizen unrest or widespread rioting.

-Flying unicorns with rainbow wings, replacing cars as the dominant method of transportation. I did say Lisa Frank, didn’t I?

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Sophie Logan

So yeah, world peace, love and happiness, blah blah blah––here’s how it should be. Forget realigning the galaxies, aliens, whatever. All anybody wants is to be free from the consequences of their actions––to sever that damnable tie stringing then to right now. So what about a life of no consequences, irrepressive hedonism, without fluctuation or inconvenience? We can join together in hate, irresponsibility, free from compromises or life lessons in a perpetual adolescence of fearless anarchy. No death, either. Think of college without those terrible classes, your parents are richer, you’re never sexually frustrated, and you can drink 12 gallons of vodka without getting a hangover.

Wouldn’t you like that? Yeah, me neither.

Yet another Stanford Torus by Don Davis. Trust us, you want to see this one full size.

"Sissyneck"

Everyone is required, through a modern miracle rarely seen outside of network television, to switch genders for a week during their first decade of legal adulthood (eighteen to twenty-nine in America). The process is painless, total and reversible––but it must be undertaken. As a result, prostitution (legal, by the way) receives an influx of calls from timid, empathetic men and awkward women in their late twenties––all shy, curious and eager to get it over with.

Galaxies with more than two genders get to try out all manner of them, save the Freeps, an unfortunate species with 256 genders, all distinct and serving a different reproductive purpose. Freeps, however, do not seem to mind, as their sexual performances typically number in the low thousands and last for weeks at a time.

Those who want to make the switch permanent can do so with some moderate bureaucracy.

Name Withheld

There is only one difference for me, but it is fundamental and changes the fundamental texture of existence. My beautiful daughter, Sophia, passed away last year at the age of seven. All of my earthly powers of thought have turned toward wishing for her return, though I know in all objective senses that it is impossible. If she were returned to me, no unhappiness or misfortune would touch me, and I would know, as I never will know now, that the world truly is a wonderful place. But I know this will never happen.