Revenge of the Muni Passenger
by Michelle Tea
I didn't set out to be such an eavesdropper, but when people yack into their cellies in a public space like the bus, I think catching their one-sided conversations and typing them up into a piece of poetry is fair game. Both of these found poems were picked up on either the 30, 45 or 15 line. I live in North Beach and take these buses frequently; as bus lines they cut through so many different San Francisco neighborhoods, it's always a great mixture of people you're crammed together with. I kept envisioning these conversations on paper, as poems, and felt really compelled by how it looked, so I decided to carry a little notebook around writing down what I hear. Often I'm hearing really great stuff but can't write it down, because it would be too obvious and I'm scared to get caught, or because I'm standing and clutching a pole for dear life. I also tend to yack loudly onto my own cell phone with no regard for the people around me, so perhaps some day my own chatter will wind up some other eavesdropper's found poem.
The Fucking Ghetto
Yeah, dude.I mean, yeah, I'll probably take some pictures of it and put it up on my thing.
We have one long internet cable that we're all sharing.
We're working on it, but...
He lives in the fucking ghetto.
He has to drive over the bridge every day.
The other thing is, we don't have parking space in our apartment.
Yeah, no.
That's what I was saying about that.
All right, guy.
I bought a pass, dude.
Later. I will, dude.
Later.
The New Jail
I'm like, as soon as this check comes I'm gonna get this boy a new phone.uh
It shouldn't be coming to X's house at all.
yeah yeah yeah yeah
ha ha ha ha
mmm-hmmm uh-huh mmm.
I didn't like him the first time I went this year, the first day after New Year's.
yeah yeah
I was like, damn it seems so long.
I said, seven o'clock!
Time goes so slow.
yeah
Uh-uh, that food's horrible.
The first day I was hella sick.
I said, I'm only here for five days, and five days is too long.
They get free, you're free.
County jail.
That's what they said, in the new jail you get more freedom.
I was very, very upset in there.
yes
Everybody said, when you were arrested, the new jail, you can't sleep.
The bars make it worse, if you're a person not hooked into being in jail.
I was snapping. I was like, oh my god. I wasn't crying like that, but I was crying to myself.
I was so upset, like, &ndash is this really happening to me?
'I looked at your record, you're in here for fighting an officer.'
I said, did they tell you that officer jumped on me?
He tried to plant a gun on me.
What the police station in the Tenderloin did was hecka crooked.
They slammed me against the wall.
You're A Four
I don’t know. I have to fly to Chicago first.You couldn’t wear the sweaters at H&M.
It’s like one of those shrug things.
Yeah, with the big sleeves and it goes over your shoulders.
I don’t know.
What?
Well, that depends on how big your paycheck -
You gotta look good.
Did you see that movie?
Yeah.
About, um, the other one.
The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe.
Really?
I haven’t seen it.
Oh!
Did you read the book? It’s very good.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You know.
Capturing the — well, there was a Chinese guy playing a Japanese character. It doesn’t matter.
Yeah.
Yeah! They do that.
I’m going to have to start paying for my own movies. They’re expensive!
Yeah.
I had money.
Uh-huh.
Yeah.
No. He said he got me shit, though.
I did.
I can’t see where the socks come from.
Okay. Well, I’ll let you go.Have a good day off. We work together on Monday?
Yay!
What?
No...! What?
Yes you are, a little bit, you know you are.
You’re a four.
Are you kidding?
That’s why I can’t wait to go back!
Text © Michelle Tea 2006, used with permission.